Poduzetnici – odgovorni roditelji / Entrepreneurs – responsible parents

Ovaj tekst pišem predstavljajući se prvenstveno kao majka dvoje djece, kao roditelj, zatim i kao predsjednica udruge osoba s posebnim potrebama, te na posljetku kao poduzetnica i poslodavac. Neću i ne želim proći mimo beogradske tragedije, koje se prelijeva i nastavlja – samo tako, šutke.

Svaki pojedinac kada čuje za događaje ubojstava počinjenih od jednog teenagera sklon je sebi reći „ma dobro je, nije to kod nas, to je tamo negdje dovoljno daleko, to je učinilo neko dijete s kojim ja/mi nemamo veze, neće se to meni/nama desiti…“.

Stvarnost je drugačija! Zašto?

Naš cijenjeni psiholog dr. Bagarić kaže „dok se jedan dio populacije nakon tragičnih događaja identificira sa žrtvama i njihovim bližnjima, drugi dio se identificira sa zločincem. Objasnio je kako te osobe uglavnom imaju snažne psihopatske elemente u svom mentalnom sustavu. Stoga, kako se lijepe situacije šire i zarazne su, isto se nažalost događa i s ružnim stvarima koje se krenu širiti kroz populaciju.“

Sve što se desilo i što se dešava u Beogradu i okolici, a zatim i u cijelom srbijanskom društvu tiče se i nas. Jer to je zaista jedan korak dalje od prelijevanja tragedije i u naše društvo.

No čija je odgovornost prepoznati moguću psihopatiju?

Smatram da je prvenstveno odgovornost nas roditelja naći u svakom danu vrijeme za svjesno roditeljstvo. Da svoje dijete svjesno pitamo i svjesno poslušamo kako je, što mu se taj dan desilo, pomognemo svom djetetu razumjeti pojedinu situaciju, objasniti zašto se nekako treba, a drugačije ne treba ponašati, učiti dijete uzroku i posljedicama, učiti ga vrijednostima i svaki dan prenositi osjećaj zajedništva i obitelji.

Obitelj – to je u modernom zapadnom društvu posebna problematika. Čini mi se kao da za puno naših obveza pronalazimo vrijeme, no za obitelj sve teže i sve manje. Kapitalizam želi da obitelj ima što manje, kako bi s bračni parovi razdvajali i umjesto jednog domaćinstva ostvarili dva, a kada dijete ili djeca odrastu i po tri ili četiri. Jer sve je to netko izračunao.

Još uvijek smatram da je to što smo manje europsko društvo naša vrijednost, to što još uvijek možemo nabaviti domaće proizvode kvaliteta hranjenja, to što udišemo čisti zrak, imamo četiri godišnja doba, družimo se, slavimo obiteljske događaje i poštujemo religiju kojoj pripadamo kvaliteta našeg življenja.

Roditelji, poduzetnici, koliko god bili zaposleni i koliko god nas opteretile razne poslovne situacije, dati djetetu mobitel – nije rješenje.

Odgađati odgoj – obije se svakom roditelju u glavu.

Podbujati moguću patologiju kod djeteta – za svaku osudu.

Za kraj pitam vas – je li ovo društvo u kojem je postalo normalno ići na botox, ali nije normalno potražiti stručnu psihološku pomoć?

Svim našim bakama koljenima u nazad – hvala, svim majkama – hvala.

Sretan majčin dan!

Mirela

Entrepreneurs – responsible parents

I am writing this text presenting myself primarily as a mother of two children, as a parent, then as the president of an association of people with special needs, and finally as an entrepreneur and employer. I will not and do not want to pass by the Belgrade tragedy, which is overflowing and continuing – just like that, silently.

Every individual, when he hears about the events of the murders committed by a teenager, tends to say to himself “it’s okay, it’s not here, it’s somewhere far away, it was done by some child with whom I/we have no relationship, it won’t happen to me/ happen to us…”

The reality is different! Why?

Our esteemed psychologist Dr. Bagarić says, “while one part of the population identifies with the victims and their relatives after tragic events, the other part identifies with the criminal. He explained that these people generally have strong psychopathic elements in their mental system. Therefore, as beautiful situations spread and are contagious, the same unfortunately happens with ugly things that begin to spread through the population.”

Everything that happened and is happening in Belgrade and its surroundings, and then in the entire Serbian society, concerns us as well. Because that is really one step away from spilling the tragedy into our society.

But whose responsibility is it to recognize possible psychopathy?

I believe that it is primarily the responsibility of us parents to find time in every day for conscious parenting. That we consciously ask our child and consciously listen to how he is, what happened to him that day, help our child understand a certain situation, explain why he should and should not behave differently, teach the child cause and effect, teach him values and pass them on every day sense of community and family.

The family is a special issue in modern Western society. It seems to me that we find time for many of our obligations, but it is getting harder and less for family. Capitalism wants the family to have as few as possible, so that married couples would separate and instead of one household, create two, and when the child or children grow up, three or four. Because someone calculated it all.

I still think that being a smaller European society is our value, that we can still get domestic products of food quality, that we breathe clean air, have four seasons, socialize, celebrate family events and respect the religion we belong to, the quality of our living .

Parents, entrepreneurs, no matter how busy we are and how much we are burdened by various business situations, giving a child a cell phone is not a solution.

Postponing education is something that comes back as a bumerang to every parent.

Inciting a possible pathology in a child – absolutely reprehensible.

Finally, I ask you – is this a society in which it has become normal to go for botox, but it is not normal to seek professional psychological help?

To all our grandmothers – thank you, to all mothers – thank you.

Happy mother’s day!

Mirela

Izvor: JL